We’re always on the hunt for awesome TV shows we should be watching. This guest Stuff You Should Be Watching is brought to us by Rhoda Baxter.

Rhoda writes contemporary romance with a hint of British cynicism. She likes to write about smart women and nice men. She lives in East Yorkshire, England. Her latest book is Girl In Trouble ( A | BN | K | iB ). Rhoda can be found wittering on about science, comedy and cake on her website or on Twitter (@rhodabaxter).

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My 9 year old likes to watch shows on Netflix at the weekend. I usually sit with her and crochet something while we watch. Project MC2 is a Netflix original series aimed a preteen and early teen girls. Partway through series 1, I put down my crochet and started watching properly. The thing that caught my interest was the heavy (and it is heavy) ‘Girls can do science; Science is cool’ message. As a microbiologist with two daughters, I’m all for that.

The premise of Project MC2 is that there is a top secret all female elite government organisation called Nov8, headed up by a woman called The Quail. The main character is teenage Agent McKeyla McAllister, who is also The Quail’s daughter, so there’s a little bit of mother/daughter dynamic from time to time.

McKeyla is working undercover as the new girl in a high school. A couple of other girls at the school get suspicious of McKeyla’s behaviour. Camryn Coyle (specialist area – engineering) and Bryden Bandweth (specialist area – computer programming/hacking) and Adrienne Attoms (specialist area … you guessed it, chemistry) manage to crack McKeyla’s secret. McKeyla is annoyed and is sure she’s going to get into trouble, but The Quail has been watching these girls and wants to recruit them to Nov8. So all four get assigned to protect an idiot prince who is supposed to be going on a tourist mission to the Space Station.

The girls are very different from each other and have their own enthusiasms and backstories. None of them has been ostracized for appearance, nor are they particularly picked on by their peers or sidelined for being nerds. There is one boy who keeps teasing Camryn (more on that later), but even then it’s more ‘my science project is better than yours’ rather than ‘give me your lunch money, nerd.’

Each girl has their own style too. Camryn skateboards everywhere and dresses in combats and shirts, Bryden has wild hair and bright t-shirts, Adrienne is festooned with pink and always wears heels (“Next time we go on a super secret spy mission, we should wear flat shoes” “No. I will NEVER give up my heels!”). Adrienne is my favourite, not least because she spends a lot of the time on ‘culinary chemistry.’

The racial diversity is impressive and non-patronising (if you’ve seen the Bratz movie, you’ll know what I mean). Everything about Project MC2 is unashamedly full of girl power. From Nov8, which is full of strong, capable women (again, lots of different races), to the evil genius super villain in series 3, Carson Lazarus, who has to put up with people assuming the nearest man is ‘Mr Lazarus’ (“I’m Carson Lazarus!” “I’m sorry lady, but I’m pretty sure Carson Lazarus is a dude”). As someone who was once asked to take a message for myself because the man I was talking to refused to believe I was the Doctor that he wanted to speak to, I can sympathise.

In later series, more girl geniuses are added to the team in the form of Devon DeMarco (Art and Design) and Ember Evergreen (plant biology). The parents also get a bit more airtime – Ember has two mothers, McKeyla’s parents have separated, Camryn’s dad is a widower struggling to raise two daughters by himself, and Adrienne was raised by her grandmother.

Basically, it doesn’t matter what sort of girl you are or what race(s) you have in your background, or how rich or poor you are: you can be clever, you can be into science and you can be awesome. I can see my girl – a mixed race child growing up in an overwhelmingly white neighbourhood – soaking up the message.

The adventures are interesting and plausible (a bit predictable at the start, but they get more complicated in later series). The girls use their smarts and STEM knowledge to solve problems. At no point does a girl need to be rescued by a boy. There is a romance storyline with workaholic McKeyla and adorable beta male Kyle. And remember that guy who was always teasing Camryn? At one point he shyly says “I tease you, because I like you”.

Camryn’s response was “That’s supposed to make it all better? Well, next time you like someone, try showing them some respect.” I nearly cheered out loud.

When one series ended, my daughter said “So, was all that science real?”

I said, “Yes. Things take longer to make than they suggest, but the science is real”. There was a pause and she said “Can you teach me some chemistry?”

We now have a chart of the periodic table hanging on the wall in the kitchen.

I call that a result. Well played, Netflix.

Is Project MC² a favorite in your house? Have you added it to your Netflix queue?

Once again I’ve gotten sucked into a book that, had I known what I was getting into, I never would have read. Nevertheless, I found myself riveted by its offbeat, Weird-Western-Meets-Dickens-Gothic-Horror atmosphere. This is not a romance but may be of interest to those who love the legend behind Sarah Winchester and the Winchester Mystery House. For non-fiction about Sarah Winchester, try the biography Captive of the Labyrinth by Mary Jo Ignoffo.

Trigger warnings abound, as this is a lurid horror novel that has elements of gothic horror and penny dreadfuls. In particular, trigger warnings for animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, and domestic violence. Honesty compels me to admit that I skimmed every now and then, which is my reader’s equivalent of watching a horror movie from under a blanket. The book isn’t scary, as in jump scares, but it is horrifying, as in having an atmosphere of dread.

Sarah Winchester was a real person. She’s famous for having built the Winchester Mystery House, a popular tourist attraction in California. The legend is that after her husband and baby died, Sarah consulted a medium who told her that she was being haunted by the spirits of those killed by the Winchester Rifle (Sarah married into the Winchester family and inherited a fortune). The spirits would only be appeased if Sarah built them a house. She would have to build continuously, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. According to legend, once building began, it did not stop until the moment she was declared dead. Like all legends, this one varies in details from teller to teller, but that’s the gist of it.

In There is No Lovely End, Sarah is portrayed as a strong-minded woman who marries a disapproving man. Historically Sarah and her husband seem to have been very happy with each other, but in this novel he is emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. They have a baby, Annie, who dies in infancy and proceeds to haunt Sarah. Eventually William also dies and he also haunts Sarah. In desperation, she goes to see a medium named Nathan. All this happens over a long period of time, and her story is interspersed with other stories.

These other stories include the stories of Nathan and his biological parents, Hennet and Hester. Hennet and his brother Walleye are criminals who find themselves in the same jail as Hester. Hester is also a criminal, but in addition to being a good pickpocket she can see and communicate with the dead. Hester is unusual among mediums because she has the ability to force ghosts into the afterlife.

Anyway, Hester and Hennet conceive Nathan during a jailbreak (yes, during – it’s very strange) and immediately part ways. Hester knows that if her baby is clairvoyant, then she will lose her own powers, so she tries to kill the baby after giving birth. Hester leaves Nathan for dead but Nathan is saved by a ghost. Once Hester realizes that she can still sense ghosts but no longer see them or banish them, she realizes that Nathan is still alive and she spends most of the book trying to find him and kill him in hopes of getting her powers back.

While Hester spends years trying to commit filicide, Hennet wanders the countryside committing crimes with his brother until Walleye takes some bad patent medicine and becomes a ghost who haunts Hennet. Hennet, who has the most “Weird West” storyline, spends most of the book seeking vengeance on the medicine show doctor who sold Walleye the medicine.

We also have the story of how baby Nathan grows up. His story is pure Dickens. He grows up in an orphanage. He is kind to the ghosts that surround him and they adore him (in contrast, they loathe Hester, as do I). Later Nathan gets an education while living in a bookstore. By “in a bookstore,” I mean literally inside a bookstore. The store, in an effort to protect him, eats him. It makes more sense in context, although not much.

I keep referring to the Weird West subgenre even though the characters spend most of their time in New England and never travel farther west than Ohio, because the book is full of motifs that I associate with Westerns. There are bank robberies, jailbreaks, mules, travelling medicine show wagons, etc. Meanwhile Sarah and Nathan have more Dickensian storylines as their stories take place in urban New England for the most part (the real Sarah lived in New England until she moved to California as a widow).

The entire story takes place in a landscape where ghosts are omnipresent. Some people can sense them, some are oblivious, and others have a full awareness of them and ability to communicate with them. The presence of the ghosts, as well as a recurring theme of family violence and family secrets, lends all of the storylines a gothic feel suffused with just slightly odd and archaic language:

Spirits splintered into one of three categories: idiocy, artifice, and aid. As you were in life, so you were in death.

Broad quantities of the dead were too dull to be anything other than pantry-opening-air-cooling-wind-whispering-wall-knocking nuisances.

Others shirked wickedly around and knit their anger into nets to cast over the living. Hester had found that the dead could harm humans. Animals for that matter. Plants, even.

But the dead were not completely atrocious. There were those spirits that found fulfillment in alleviating the living. They reinforced walls during earthquakes. Unobstructed jammed shop locks. Did the dusting. Set the tea to boiling. Opened holy books to encouraging passages. Assisted wheelchairs over breaks in the boardwalk. Frayed hangman’s knots and snuffed fallen candles before fires caught.

These helpers believed that good deeds would quicken them to the Something After. Hester knew better. Her dead sight and words were the only unnatural carriage to other worlds.

This book was much too graphically violent for my personal taste and yet I could not put it down. The characters are compelling — even, and maybe especially — the horrible ones. The combination of gothic horror, Dickens, and Weird West is hypnotic. My caveats are that the book involves a lot of things that are no-gos for many of our readers (don’t get attached to the dog) and you won’t learn anything about the real Sarah Winchester from reading the book. I also felt that it was too disjointed to make a cohesive story even given the fact that most characters come together at or near the ending. On the other hand, if you can tolerate violent, ghostly, atmospheric horror with a feminist bent (somewhat similar to the TV show Penny Dreadful without the terrible ending) then this will make some good spooky reading for you.

Note: the recaps this season are written from the British airings, which often have 6-10 minutes that the US airings do not. If you’re reading this and going “Hey, I don’t remember that!” that’s probably why.

Previously: Ross went to France to find Enys.

In Cornwall, D and Jeremy stand on the cliffs. “Where is he, Jeremy? Papa has been gone a long while, hasn’t he? Where could he be.”

Uh, France? Ross and Tholly enter the town, which guarded by French soldiers and involves a lot of people getting beaten up and taken away.

D tells Caro that she expects Ross will be home in a few days, and Caro both longs for and dreads Ross’ return. As long as she has no news, she doesn’t have to face anything. Prudie assures Caro that she feels it in her bones that Enys is still alive. D tells her that Ross knows how to take care of himself.

Which he has to, since soldiers are beating and killing people for not being… you know what, I’m not sure whose side the soldiers are on, but I have to think it’s Robespierre and compatriots and the Republic. Right? My knowledge of the French Revolution and how you get from there to Emperor Napoleon in less than 20 years is… patchy, shall we say. Anyway, Ross looks at this chaos darkly and mutters “Quaint little market town?” Well, it WAS, when Tholly and Ross’ dad were operating there. 20 years ago. Ross looks at someone getting stabbed and hopes that’s not their contact. Nah, Tholly says, not him. They just need to lay low. I mean, speaking English in the middle of town, looking super English while they’re at it is totally doing that. Tholly’s like, I’ve never let you down before. Ross is like, yeah okay.

At church in Cornwall, George and Elizabeth walk to the door, while a number of the tenants greet Elizabeth. George is like, you know these peasants? Well, yeah, they are their tenants, and Francis thought it was important to know who paid them rent. “But then, he did grow up in the district” she says quickly (“And no fences!” pipes up Sassy Geoffy-Chuck) as George gets all bothered about his lack of ancestry again. George also tells the vicar to send a repair bill to his steward, as Sam and Drake walk by with some of their congregation, singing AT George (Geoffy-Chuck grins approvingly).

Back in France, Ross and Tholly get their message: they’re to meet their man at a pub.

Zacky gives D the report from France. It’s a hot mess, so Ross will need to be both careful and patient. D sighs, knowing Ross is good at neither. Zacky also tells her that Sam and Drake have taken to singing outside the church, and D grins that she thought it would be a matter of time before there were more people outside the church than in. Zacky: okay but defiance usually doesn’t go well. D asks what they’re supposed to do, since they’ve been forbidden from going to church.

Zacky does have an idea: in the village of Grambler, there’s a meeting house that isn’t used. When George closed the mine, everyone left the town, but Francis gave the meeting house to the people, so they may as well use that. It’s a mess, so Drake will need to fix it. “It’s not so very decayed! All it will take is a few good men and some nails.” “Where’s Drake when you need him?”

Mooning about the cliffs of course, and sure enough, along comes Morwenna and Geoffy-Chuck.

George tells Cary that now that he’s a magistrate, he wants to to become a burgess of borough (the men who were able to vote for a community’s Member of Parliament in the bad old days). Cary: mmmhmmm. Well, George says, we have closed a bunch of mines and stuff, so people are kind of mad at us, and with the unrest in France, making patricians nervous, maybe we should try to improve our image, and make people like us again. “George Warleggan, man of the people!” I, uh, see a few flaws in this plan? Cary laughs: “Ross Poldark better look to his crown!”

In the pub, another man is dragged off, while Ross and Tholly try to keep a low profile. It’s not that low, because a woman is watching them carefully.

Morwenna and G-C play cards with Aggie, who asks if it was windy on the beach. G-C: Uhhhhhhh (while Aggie looks at him knowingly) why do you ask? Aggie: Windblown hair, sand in shoes? Seriously, kid. Elizabeth overhears and tells them not to go to the beach- the currents are tricky, there’s unrest in villages, since the harvest failed, and… “Take your father’s pistol!” is Aggie’s solution. No, Elizabeth doesn’t want them to go to the beach at ALL. Morwenna masters her feelings of disappointment. Geoffy-Chuck remarks that Baby Val doesn’t look a bit like anyone. “Much darker.” Aggie grunts.

Ross and Tholly continue to sit, and their contact enters. His name is Clisson, and he verifies that many English soldiers are being held in the prison. The guards are under orders not to speak to anyone, but he has been told that there are survivors of the recent sea battle. Good, good. Ross asks if names are a possibility, and the answer is maybe. For a price. Fifty, for the guard, and fifty for Clisson. Ross counts out the coins, and asks for when he can expect news. Tonight. “Do you trust him?” asks Tholly. No, but he’s all they’ve got. The woman is still eyeing them, and it looks like it’s because she’d like to tap that.

Cary tells George that Francis gave the meeting house to Grambler village, and George sniffs that Francis was always giving shit away. “No doubt that’s why he was sooooo popular.” George thinks that maybe they could give it away again, as the first act of benevolence. Cary: “Lately a group of Methodists have been repairing it.” George: what now. Names? His goon does not know the name, so he appoints his goon as a constable for the district (which he can do as a magistrate). Now Constable Goon has his duties of guarding Trenwith, but also he is to suppress unrest in the district, starting with getting the names of the Methodists.

Back in goddam France, they still wait, and their butts have GOT to be asleep by now. Ross against reiterates that he’s got a quiet life now: a wife, a child, another one the way. “I’m keeping my head down and my mouth shut.” At that pronouncement, Clisson comes back and tells Ross that there are army and Navy survivors, but names are hard to get, so he needs more money. A hundred. Ross thinks, and gives Clisson 50, with another 50 when he has the names. Clisson tells him to go home, and he’ll send word, because this shit will take time. Ross says he will do no such thing, and Clisson’s like, fine, but be on your guard, because they’re looking for spies. “We are not spies.” Well, Ross, you are asking around for protected military information, so that’s like, spy-adjacent. Clisson agrees with me.

D is still waiting. Garrick is too. Garrick must be an old dog by now.

Ross watches out the window, and Tholly asks him about “that beauty you had your ‘eart set on? The Chynoweth girl?” She married Ross’ cousin. Ross says it’s for the best, he needed a wife who could chop wood and skin rabbits, as well is drink tea and curtsy. Tholly says something (his accent is THICK and I don’t have subtitles) about Ross’s father, and Ross says that his father and he are not alike. Tholly: y’all do fool’s errands alike, though.

At Trenwith, Val is chatty, while Elizabeth looks at him. George comes in and says that he’s leaving for his first appearance on the bench, and he’d love it if Elizabeth went with him. Elizabeth would rather not: there are household matters.

Constable Goon rides by the Methodist meeting house, watching people shake Drake and Sam’s hands.

Ross and Tholly walk through Roscoff in the morning and there’s a guillotine set up in the square. It’s being used, and a man is dragged to his execution as the crowd shouts. The blade drops and the crowd cheers.

Intercut with this is George putting on his wig and taking his oath of office, swearing that he’s good and fair and reasonable and a bunch of other bullshit. He then takes his seat.

D is out walking, and an open carriage goes by. It’s Elizabeth, G-C, and Morwenna, and Elizabeth and D exchange a long look.

In Roscoff, the woman finally approaches Ross and Tholly, and asks about Ross’s papers. Ross assures he that he has them… in his room. She offers to go up with Ross to inspect them, and Ross is like, er, I’m married. “I’m not.” “Tholly.” “I’m not!” “Tholly.” “I’m ready, willing and able.” Ross apologizes for his servant (“Servant?”) and the woman is like, bruh, you’re a stranger, and you don’t know how to trust friends, as opposed to enemies. “I trust I’ve made none today.” She’s called away.

Caro is having tea with Demelza, grumbling about a woman’s plight, sitting at home idle (“Idle?”) while the men are off having adventures. She’s been thinking about who she knows who has influence and might get her news of Enys. But doesn’t elaborate.

George is enjoying his time as magistrate too much, proclaiming that the theft of a pheasant from a man’s betters (by an old man, in rags) is really really bad, and now it falls to George to pronounce the awful sentence: Which is that the man be tied to post in the market square and get flogged for twenty lashes.

George also gets a note from Constable Goon with Sam and Drake’s names on it, but before he can do anything at the moment, Caroline approaches him in a gorgeous purple redingote. She just happened to drop by. She flatters him with the access he might have, and knowledge of people in the Navy that their neighbors might like to hear, like, oh, for example, Doctor Enys? George is like nah, they wouldn’t, because he’s not on any lists of prisoners or survivors so you have to assume he’s dead, right? That’s just logic.

At the meeting house, the Brothers Carne have discovered that George has taken the meeting house back, which is something he has the right to do, TECHNICALLY, but it’s unfair, and Ross isn’t there to support them. Sam piously says it’s in the Lord’s hands now, which I gotta say, Sam is real good at filling the Lord’s Hands up with things. D agrees with me. “Sometimes the Lord need a little help.”

D is planning on sending Drake to march on Trenwith and ask for Elizabeth’s mercy. She can’t go herself, of course (Elizabeth won’t like it), but Drake plus Zacky to keep Drake civil (Zacky will do his best), might work. Worth a shot, and even though Ross wouldn’t like it, Ross ain’t there to tell anyone what to do.

Back in Roscoff, Ross is back at his table, and gets a note: Clisson will be back on Sunday. Soldiers, however, come to take Ross, and Tholly yells in French, but to no avail.

Zacky and the Brothers Carne arrive at Trenwith, agreeing to not mention their relation to D or Ross. Constable Goon greets them outside the door, and tells them that the Master ain’t home. Zacky tells him that they’re asking after the mistress, and that she knows him by face and by name. Constable Goon lets Zacky and Sam in, but tells Drake to wait. “Nor more than two riff-raff in the house at any time.”

G-C sees Drake, and they walk a bit in the garden, and Drake is like, kid it wouldn’t be good if you’re seen with me. G-C doesn’t care (even though it’ll be bad for Drake, not G-C) and besides, “These are my gardens. Or will be one day.”

In Roscoff, Ross is trying to assure someone of authority (Mayor? Sure, we’ll go with that) that he’s TOTALLY NOT A SPY, he’s just a businessman. The Mayor is like, yeah, no, you’re acting against the interests of France by hanging out for DAYS and never once reporting to the gendarmes. Ross didn’t know he was supposed to. Well, the penalty for the first offense is imprisonment, the second is execution. Ross offers to “pay” a “fine” for 20 guineas. The Mayor ups it to 50, but Ross has to leave right away. Ross says his ship isn’t gonna be there until Monday, but as it so happens, the Mayor says, there’s an English ship leaving very soon. Ross tries another 50 guineas to stay until Monday, but the answer is no, not unless he wants to get imprisoned for attempted bribery. If Ross is still in town at midnight, he’ll be executed.

How’s that quiet country squire life working out for you, Ross?

Sam is explaining that Francis gifted the meeting house to the brethren, and Elizabeth is like are you sure that happened? Because I don’t think… Zacky interrupts that yes, it DID happen, he was there. Sam also says that if she were to make sure the meeting house stayed in the villager’s hands, she’d be doing God’s work and they’d all pray for her.

In the garden, Drake says that he should be getting back, and Morwenna happens upon them. G-C tries to tell Morwenna that she should tell Drake to come visit any time Elizabeth and George are away. “You know you would like that, you’re always talking about him.” Morwenna is mortified. G-C asks Drake that if he wrote a note inviting Drake to visit, would he come? “You can read?” Drake says he can. Morwenna takes her leave.

Elizabeth says that she’ll talk to George, and explain that they view the promise from Francis to be a binding one, but she can’t guarantee anything. The boys all leave, under the watchful eye of Constable Goon.

In Roscoff, Tholly asks Ross for the plan. “We appear to be leaving.” Stress on the appear.

At dinner, Morwenna very casually asks about Elizabeth’s visitors. G-C thinks they should just let them have the meeting house, and Aggie agrees, since the land will be G-C’s eventually.

D is surprised that Elizabeth would be so civil, and Prudie’s like yeah, because they didn’t tell her about their connection to Ross. D agrees, and Prudie asks Sam if he’s always been a “fiend for prayer.” No, he lived without the balm of God for almost 20 years, but he’s found salvation. “More than the rest of us!” Drake grins. But he’s got something he needs from D: “Will ye teach me to read?” D grins.

George is home from his first day on the bench, where he says people appreciated his firm judgements and also he got many compliments on his robes. Elizabeth tells him that they had visitors, Methodists, asking after the meeting house, and that Francis promised it to them. George says these religious sects make him uneasy, and Elizabeth is like, Zacky Martin wouldn’t lie. “And the other man?” Seemed legit. She thinks Zacky called him “Sam?” George yeah, Sam Carne. Demelza’s brother, so that’s the plot, Ross is trying to fuck with them by proxy. “I can’t believe he would PRESUME…HOW DARE HE?” “So we agree, they must on no account take deed to the land.” “ON NO ACCOUNT.” (This moment of indignation is one of Heida Reed’s best moments.)

Caro sits with D, saying that George was quite adamant, Enys’ name is on no lists. “Well, Ross is not yet returned.” D tries to be reassuring. Caro hopes that Ross is on a ship, on his way home.

Well, he IS on a ship. Tholly is happy enough to see the end of France, stinking cesspit that it is. Ross doesn’t answer, and Tholly is like, what are you up to now? “Keep your head down and your mouth shut. That’s what any sensible man would do.” “Indeed.” Ross is not that man. “Get word to my wife that I’ve been delayed.” AND HE JUMPS OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIP LIKE AN IDIOT.

Tholly returns Ross’s hat to D, and she wordlessly stalks away. At the house, she is VERY AGGRESSIVELY KNEADING, slamming the dough against the table, basically saying that she’s gonna beat the shit out of Ross when he gets back. Prudie: T’aint fit. D: “T’aint fair. Prudie: T’aint right. D: T’aint proper. “How the menfolk have the cheek to expect us to do our bidding!” asks D. Prudie: “Then it’s a good thing we never do.”

George and Elizabeth have been loudly agreeing with each other all night, yelling about Ross’ presumption and shit. Elizabeth is still really mad. “He planned it! To cause disruption to us! YET AGAIN.” “Dear god, are we never to be rid of him?” George proposes decamping to their house in Truro, leaving G-C and Aggie with Morwenna in the country, and then Ross is out of their hair. Elizabeth says that she’ll miss G-C, of course, but the thought of being out of Ross’ reach…. “Then shall we leave today?” “The sooner the better.” Then instead of packing, they start making out. Rich people are weird.

At Nampra, D has written out everyone’s name on a slate (including Garrick’s!) and Drake is slowly sounding them out. Sam comes in, and reports that George said that they need to put their tools down and not come back upon pain of death. D realizes that it’s because Sam and Drake are known as her brothers. “Judas! Must it always be such a battle?”

Elizabeth has packed up the baby, and tells G-C to shake her hand, “That is what young gentlemen do.” G-C does, but with a faint smile that says he thinks this is stupid. Elizabeth tells Morwenna to keep G-C up on his studies, and that Aggie isn’t to waste all his time at cards. “Wouldn’t dream of it!” “I’ll miss you, mama.” No word is spared for George, and the carriage isn’t even out of the gate before Aggie smirks, “Now we can have some fun!”

Drake is patiently practicing writing his name and D’s, while she’s angrily bustling around the kitchen. He helps her get a jug from a high shelf, and tells her he can see why their father was so miffed that she left, she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders and doesn’t buckle. Yes, emotional labor is like that, Drake. D says it’s more than she wishes to bear sometimes, and Ross is pain in the ass sometimes. And she occasionally wonders why she wed him at all. “But is not all love tricksicle sometimes?” D: “I promised to love, honor, and obey him. And why should I?” She stops, and Drake’s like, was that a complete thought? No, but she’s figured out where they can worship.

They stand outside of a storehouse, and Sam’s like, Captain Ross will give us this? No, D says, I am giving this to you. You can clean it out, fix it up. “Captain Ross won’t like it.” “No more than I like certain antics of his. Make this your church.”

In Truro, George and Elizabeth have moved into their townhouse. Elizabeth says she loves it, and feels like she can breathe again. George hopes she’ll attend his next session on the bench, and he’ll make it as “entertaining” as the first one. Gross.

At the storehouse, D’s brought food and water, and will get things in writing, so no one can fuck with them.

In Roscoff, Ross has stolen a hat! He is totes in disguise. He finds Clisson, who wants money before the list, and Ross wants the lists before the money. They basically swap at the same time (any 10 year old knows this technique), and Clisson slithers off, and the woman who’s been making eyes at Ross saunters over with soldier and the mayor. “Did you miss me?” Ross apologizes for brushing her off earlier, “I did not appreciate my good fortune.” And then he punches out two of the soldiers and makes a run for it. He has to fight his way out of the town and runs off into the night.

Waves crash, and Caro sits staring at the fire. D stares out her window, hand on her belly.

George and Elizabeth eat in silence, when a invitation comes from a Lord Godolphin. “How splendid!” George reads the note, and it seems that Lord Godolphin’s young nephew is coming before the court the next day, charged with assaulting a servant girl. “Oh.”

In the court, the magistrates are whispering about being in agreement, while the accused and the servant girl wait nervously. “We see before the court today a person who has been wronged in the grossest manner. Lies have been told. A blameless reputation is at stake. In our view, an example must be set in order to deter others from committing a like offense.” George proclaims that the court has decided that the servant girl has committed perjury, and slandered the good name of Anthony Godolphin, and will be committed for trial. The servant girl collapses, and Elizabeth stares at George with bewilderment.

Caro and D stand at the gate, and Caro feels like she can’t assume anything but the worst, “A sorry end.” D, based on what Tholly told her about what was happening in France, thinks that they might both have to prepare for the worst.

Elizabeth is sitting in her house, and a doctor is giving her a tincture that “calms the nerves.” Three drops, as and when required. So, an opiate, probably.

Waves crash, and the kids (G-C, Morwenna, and Drake) run on the beach.

Drake has a handful of seaweed. He makes like he’s going to throw it, and she’s like I dare you! Drake says no, dare him to do something else! “Such as?” “Dare me…. I don’t know, to kiss you!” She blinks, and he’s like “Uh I would never presume….” “No, you would not. Not with Geoffrey Charles here!” Drake TOUCHES HER HAND, scandalous.

D is stacking wood, when she hears a horse neigh, and Ross rides up. They have a mushy reunion. Inside, D reads over the list.

In France, prisoners are marched into the prison, and a blond man with a shaggy beard watches, warily. It’s Enys!

D finds his name. “Ross, he’s alive!” For what it’s’ worth, conditions in France for enemies of the Republic are really really bad. “You must go to Caroline at once, put her out of her misery!”

In the prison, a wounded soldier has been brought in, and Enys calls for water.

Ross and Caro stand in her parlor, and she falls to the ground, crying in relief.

Elizabeth stares at the fire, while George talks about how “affable” Archie (“He invited me to forgo the ‘Lord’”) Godolphin was, and that he appreciated George’s astute legal mind, and reminded him of the banquet next week. Elizabeth is like, “Huh?” “I suspect it won’t be long before we have a burgess in the family.”

At Trenwith, Morwenna is walking in the sun, thinking about Drake, touching the string of shells her made her that she’s tied around her wrist. At the new meetinghouse, Drake is helping set up benches, and another women is looking at him in that hopeful way. Another man tells Drake that he could do worse, and maybe Drake should speak to her father? “T’would be of no use. My heart is already bespoke.”

Ross has just found out about the meetinghouse and wants to know by whose permission. Well, D, says, by mine. Ross is aghast that she would do that without his input. She turns from her mirror and looks at him, “You seriously ask me that?” “I seriously ask you that!” “Who am I, Ross?” “My wife.” “And when you’re away, who I defer to?” She can’t sit and wait for his ass to come back and make decisions, not when she’s got a kid and 7/9th of a kid, a farm and a mine to run. “Other women may bow and scrape as I once did.” But she didn’t know if he was coming back. “But I have come back,” says Ross, then realizes he missed the point. “I have no business questioning what you do in my absence. You’re my wife, not my chattel.” France was SHIT, and he was worried that he’d make it back at all.

D smiles, “Well, perhaps if you behave, it may be warmer than you deserve.”

In France, Enys is trying to treat another man. “What is this place? Am I dead? Is this hell?” Gunshots echos from outside, and Enys tells him that he’s alive, but they’re all in hell now.

Baby Val coos in his crib, and Elizabeth drinks at her dressing table while George prattles on about his super successful day. George picks up Val, while Elizabeth says not to fuss over the baby. No, George thinks Val should be fussed over and cherished and everything he does is for the good of his son and heir. He had a good day and everything is great.

Ross and D make out in bed (he without a shirt), and she, smiling, says “No doubt you were plagued by French beauties.” “No doubt I was.” “No doubt you availed yourself of them.” “No doubt I did.” Except he’s got the prettiest wife, so… This is a weird note to end on. It looks tender, but written out….?

I dunno, a lot of these episodes end weirdly.

Have you been watching? What did you think of this episode? 

This week Readheadedgirl is off in the UK enjoying cream teas, so I’m on my own for the recap.

Also, A Note from Sarah: 

By request we’ve placed the gifs behind spoiler tags so they don’t distract or irritate anyone’s eyeballs while reading.

But you can still see the visuals if you wish.

Click to reveal and conceal as needed – and please let me know if this method words for you to avoid gif-distraction, ok?

The title card is a shot of Claire painting Brianna’s First Christmas 1948 on a wooden ornament.

The episode opens with Claire performing surgery alongside Joe, fixing a bleed just in the nick of time.

We cut to Brianna in class at Harvard, not really paying attention and doing some amazing architecture sketches her notebook. She looks up when her professor tells the class about William Dawes, a man who rode with Paul Revere, but was “lost to history.” Her professor asks to speak with her privately and tells her that she’s failing his class and, according to her other professors, other classes as well. He asks her what’s changed and she tells him that everything is fine and storms off.

Brianna goes home where the house is dark but the Christmas tree is lit. She looks at the ornament from the title card, then starts to sort through some of Frank’s things. She smells his pipe and sorts through old photos, struggling not to cry.

Back at Claire’s office, Joe pours them a drink and asks her what really happened in Scotland. He thinks Claire met a man.

“Well, there was someone. From my past,” she confesses.

“I had hoped that we would be able to find each other again,” Claire tells Joe. “But fate had other ideas.”

“Fuck fate,” Joe says.

I like Joe.

Out of the blue, Roger shows up in Boston. He rings the Randall’s doorbell (Claire and Brianna are clearly fighting inside). Brianna throws the door open and demands, “What!?”

“Happy Christmas,” he says sheepishly.

After some awkward introductions, Claire tells Roger that Brianna is withdrawing from Harvard and moving out. Brianna leaves, and Claire and Roger have some wine and cheese and visit.

“You didn’t just come here for an American Christmas, did you?”

“Is it that obvious?” Roger asks.

Claire tells him that she’s glad he’s there as Brianna needs someone to talk to, and Roger is the only one who knows the whole story about Jamie. They move from wine to whisky (Brandy, she’s a fine girl…). Roger tells Claire that he found a journal article from 1765 that contains the line “for as has been known for ages past, freedom and whisky gang thegither.”

Claire told Roger and Brianna in the last episode that she quoted that line to Jamie, leading Roger to believe that Jamie wrote the article. Claire points out that the line came from a poem by Robert Burns, but Roger tells her that Burns was 6 when the article was written.

The article was printed by Alexander Malcolm, a name Roger believes was a pseudonym Jamie was using. All of this means Jamie was alive and living in Edinburgh about 19 years after Claire left him.

Claire is upset, telling Roger that he should have left well enough alone. “I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing. Twenty years ago, I shut the door on the past. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When you told me he survived Culloden, I began to hope,” she says. “I can’t go through that again.”

“But this isn’t just hope!” Roger says. “This is real! You can go to Jamie!”

Claire points out that Brianna needs her and that going to Jamie would be abandoning her daughter. She asks Roger not to tell Brianna what he found out about Jamie.

The next day Claire is back at the hospital where Joe has laid a bunch of 150 year old bones out on her desk. His friend, an anthropologist, sent them looking for a cause of death. Joe and Claire determine that the woman was murdered, nearly beheaded.

Claire confides in Joe that the man she thought to meet in Scotland was Brianna’s real father and that she told Brianna.

Joe tells her that he watched her live a half-life for years, and that if she has a chance with this man she should take it. He assures her Brianna will come around.

Cut to Roger hanging out at Chez Randall, watching Dark Shadows. Brianna comes home. She teases him for his taste in television then invites him to join her at a ceremony at Harvard where a fellowship will be named after Frank.

As they tour Harvard, Brianna tells him that history can’t be trusted, that it’s a story that changes depends on who is telling it.

Claire, Brianna and Roger attend the ceremony for Frank’s fellowship. Claire runs into one of Frank’s former mistresses, Sandy, now a professor, and much awkwardness abounds.

Sandy chastises Claire for living a lie with Frank and making Frank and Brianna live that lie too. She tells Claire that Frank was the love of her life and that she’d give anything to have one more day with him.

When Brianna asks Claire about Sandy, Claire tells her the truth. Brianna asks if Frank hated her, looking at her every day and knowing she was Jamie’s child, not his. She also asks if Claire resented her, as her pregnancy was the reason she left Jamie. Claire says no on both counts and tears are shed.

Claire admits that Roger found Jamie in 1765.

Brianna tells her that she has to go back to Jamie. She assures Claire that she can get by on her own, and that while she loves her mom, she doesn’t need her the way she once did.

Cut to the hospital. A bunch of doctors and nurses are in a lounge, watching the Apollo 8 mission on TV.

“How do you take a trip like that, and come back to life as you knew it?” Joe ponders.

Claire looks pensively at the moon from her window.

Later Claire and Brianna discuss the possibility of Claire traveling back in time to Jamie, specifically that they may never see each other again. Claire tells her that she doesn’t know if she can live with that.

Brianna tells Claire that she’s more of her mother than either of her fathers, and that if she’s half the woman Claire is she’ll be fine. She also wants Claire to tell Jamie about his daughter. Claire worries that Jamie might have forgotten her or moved on.

“You gave Jamie up for me,” Brianna says. “Now I have to give him back to you.”

The next day at the hospital, Claire asks Joe if she’s still sexually attractive. “Is this about your man?” Joe asks her.

Claire, again, reiterates her fear that Jamie won’t want her.

Joe tells her, “You’re a skinny white broad with too much hair, but a great ass. He’ll be in heaven when he sees you.”

Then it’s Christmas at the Randall household. Roger and Brianna give Claire some old coins she can use in Edinburgh as well as a history of Scotland book. Brianna says she wanted to give Claire a flashlight, but Roger warned her that it would lead to another witch trial. Claire confesses that she stole some penicillin from the hospital to take to the past with her.

Brianna gives her mother a topaz necklace, Brianna’s birthstone.

Roger jokingly suggests Claire make herself a utility belt like Batman to carry all her items in to the past. We get a montage of Claire sewing while the Batman theme plays in the background. After inspecting her gray hairs in the mirror, Claire dyes her hair to hide them.

Claire packs her suitcase and gives Brianna a letter for Joe, as well as the deed to the house and paperwork turning the bank accounts over to her. She also gives Brianna the pearls that belonged to Jamie’s mother.

The three of them toast whisky, “to freedom and whisky.”

Click to see gif!

Claire leaves, and Brianna cries in Roger’s arms. Roger gives Brianna a copy of a A Christmas Carole which Frank and Claire used to read to her. Brianna kisses him.

We get a shot of Claire stepping out of a cab and into a puddle, as the camera pans up the taxi is replaced by a carriage and she is in her historical garb. She is in Edinburgh in 1766.

She walks down the street to the printer’s shop. She opens the door and hears Jamie’s voice. She looks down at Jamie from the door and says, “It’s me. Claire.”

Jamie turns around slowly, then faints.

Elyse: Like I said, I’m on my own here as RHG is traipsing about the UK, probably having a really good scone right now.

So this whole episode felt weird to me. I’m not crazy about Brianna’s character, partially I think because there hasn’t been enough screen time to develop her. Regardless, it feels super weird having her help Claire pack so Claire can go back in time and they never see each other again. I get that Brianna is an adult, but…. the acting felt off, like these two women barely know each other. I didn’t sense any super deep affection.

I also want to know WTF the random bones thing was about. I’m sure it will come up later, but if Claire was somehow examining her own bones, I’ll be pissed. And kinda grossed out.

And finally, FINALLY we get a reunion. I am so stoked for the next episode which is 75 minutes long…but doesn’t air for two weeks. UGH.

So, what did you think of this episode? How are you liking this season so far?

The Winchester Mystery House is a famous tourist attraction in San Jose, California. Sarah Winchester, the owner and builder of the house, became enormously rich thanks to her marriage into the Winchester family (as in Winchester rifles). She moved to San Jose in 1884 or 1885 and purchased an eight-bedroom farmhouse that she added onto almost continuously until her death in 1922.

According to legend, after a series of losses including the death of her baby and husband, Sarah consulted a medium who told her that she was being cursed by the spirits of those who had been killed by Winchester firearms. If she wanted to appease the spirits, she would have to continuously build onto a house for herself and the spirits. This, the legend goes, is why the Winchester Mansion is so strange. It has over one hundred room, stairs that lead nowhere, doors that open onto open air (on the upper floors) and other oddities. According to legend, construction went on 24/7 and stopped at the moment she was pronounced dead.

If you are attached to this legend, then read the fictional book There is No Lovely End by Patty Templeton.

If you want to read something anticlimactic yet much more plausible, read Captive of the Labyrinth by Mary Jo Ignoffo. This biography makes a compelling case that Sarah built onto her house not because she was afraid of spirits because she enjoyed building stuff. It’s a feminist take on a much-maligned historical figure but oh, so deflating for those of us who grew up with the legend.

Ignoffo was able to gain access to letters to and from Sarah and Sarah’s attorney. The collection also had invoices, magazines subscriptions, and other ephemera. Ignoffo also found materials from a family who worked for Sarah for twenty-five years. These included photographs, letters, and daybooks. This archive allowed Ignoffo to write a “just the facts” biography. Ignoffo couldn’t find any mention of ghosts or spirits in Sarah’s life other than those mentioned in often-contradictory newspaper accounts. However, she does find abundant evidence that construction did not occur around the clock and often stopped for months at a time.

The great question about Sarah is: “Why did she build such a bizarre house?”

The stock answer is “Because the spirits told her to.”

Given the lack of documentation to support this theory, Ignoffo posits:

1. She liked architecture but being a woman, she couldn’t be an architect or access good training, so she practiced on her own house.
2. She grew up around woodworkers and loved it, so she used her house to experiment with different woods and products.
3. As long as she was building, she didn’t have to have people over (INTOVERT ALERT!).
4. She had unlimited time and money so hey, why not? Winchester was, by the way, not unusual in building a large, rambling house. This was a thing that rich people did. Ignoffo specifically cites Elizabeth Colt as another heiress who built a large rambling house, and Sarah’s attorney, who built two large houses and then built a wing to connect them.

As for some of the more bizarre traits of the Winchester house, many are practical, like the low-rise stairs, which I’ll rave about further on. Others are because Sarah didn’t have architectural training and sometimes she messed up. Most are because after the earthquake damage in 1906, Sarah blocked off some of the house and redirected her efforts to other areas that weren’t falling apart. Moreover, other strange elements, particularly the recurrence of the number 13, were added by the company which owns the house now and which profits enormously off of playing it up as a haunted house.

Ignoffo believes that Sarah was smart, generous, creative, and levelheaded in a culture that did not value smart, creative women. She believes that the legend about Sarah took hold for several reasons. Sarah was reclusive, and she offended her neighbors by not making or accepting calls. She was short and had terrible teeth and gnarled hands from arthritis so she pretty much looked like a fairytale witch. Above all, there was a lot of money in the story. Today, the Winchester Mystery House is a tourist attraction that thrives on the supernatural element and plays it up in both the regular tours, in their advertising, and during special events on Halloween and Friday the 13th.

The final ingredient, according to Ignoffo, is that Sarah’s money came from sales of Winchester rifles, and people had conflicted feelings about the roles of guns and violence in the formation of America as we know it today:

She was not targeted simply for being rich; it was the fact that her fortune came from the repeater [rifle] that made some convict her. If she had not been a Winchester, if her wealth had derived from something other than a firearm- a sewing machine, for example, patented at about the same time as the repeater-the rationale for the huge, odd house would have followed an entirely different tack. No one would have suggested she was guilt-ridden by sewing machines or feared ghosts of garment workers. The themes of superstition, guilt, fear of death, and communication with the netherworld are due to Winchester’s connection to the rifle.

I’ve been to the Winchester Mystery House recently, and yes, it’s weird (many hallways, many doors, one strategically-placed-by-tour-guides creepy doll), but a lot of it made perfect sense.

For instance, the tour guide explained that the shallow stairs with many switchbacks were made so that Sarah, who was 4’10 and had rheumatoid arthritis, could walk on them, and all the bathroom fixtures were made to match her height. Everyone in my tour group seemed to find this odd. Why? It’s her house! I happen to be 4’9” and I have osteoarthritis in my feet, knees, and hips and let me tell you I’ve never been more comfortable than in that house. Everyone’s all “Oh, she was so crazy” and I’m all, “Sister, represent!”

The basement, on the other hand, is incredibly creepy, but all basements are creepy.

Ignoffo is not the most artistic writer (hence the B-), and while she had much more material to work with than other biographers did, that still doesn’t add up to a lot of material.  I did not feel like I knew Sarah as a person by the end of this biography, although I was thrilled to discover that her personal physician was a woman named Euthanasia Meade. Still, Ignoffo makes a compelling case that Sarah was not superstitious, at least not to a point where it dominated her life. She also paints a picture of a woman who loved her family but also her privacy. Sarah’s sisters, who were as openly progressive and political as Sarah was private, are fascinating in their own right, especially Sarah’s animal-loving sister Isabelle.

Above all, Ignoffo is a staunch defender of Sarah as a brilliant woman with more talent than opportunity who was made a scapegoat because of her refusal to act as was expected of her:

Those who are the most mocking of Winchester, her most strident accusers, have based their definitive opinions on a mythology that does not stand up to historical scrutiny. It is a disservice to the facts of her life to dismiss Sarah Winchester as a superstitious madwoman. It is time to set the record straight. If Winchester’s San Jose house had not been turned into a tourist attraction, her memory would have been relegated to the annals of local history as an eccentric dowager who spent a fortune in equal parts on frivolity and philanthropy. But as the house draws thousands of people each year and represents details of the widow’s life to them, it becomes imperative to give the other side of the story.

This month’s Romance Wanderlust features a place that I’ve actually been to. The Winchester Mystery House is romantic in the sense that the owner, Sarah Winchester, seems to have been devoted to her husband, and it’s romantic in the sense that if you go on a candlelight tour then you can clutch each other in terror. Otherwise, it’s not so much as romantic as it’s just strange and unusual. You can’t stay at the Winchester Mystery House, nor would you want to (I assume) but it makes for a lovely outing in a beautiful part of California (assuming that it doesn’t all burn down, blow away, or fall over by the time this column is published).

Gather round, children, and I’ll tell you the story that has freaked out Californian children for lo these many years. Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah Winchester. Her baby died, her in-laws died, her parents died, and her husband died. She inherited a huge fortune that came from the sales of Winchester rifles, the “gun that won the West,” but she was miserable. So she consulted a medium, who explained that she was cursed by the spirits of all those who had been killed by Winchester weapons. The only way to appease the spirits was to build them a house, and the construction would have to go on 24/7 and not stop until Sarah died. In order to prolong the construction, the house was built with odd features like steps that go nowhere. In order to please the spirits, the house was also built with repetition of the number 13.

Alternate ending that scared my pants off in first grade: the building went on until Sarah left town for a day and because she couldn’t yell at the workers they stopped working and took the day off and she dropped dead the minute they all stopped.

The interesting thing about this story is that the first version is presented as gospel truth at the Winchester Mystery House and online and all over California. The legend has it that Sarah was a sad and mentally ill woman who compulsively made her house not only as large, but as strange as possible. For a biography that contests this story, try Captive of the Labyrinth by Mary Jo Ignoffo.

Here is what’s known, more or less. Sarah Winchester was indeed a widow who inherited a vast sum of money from the Winchester estate. She moved to San Jose, California, in or around 1884, purchased a farmhouse, and began adding on. She was not an architect but she loved design and woodwork and she designed the house herself. Part of it fell down during the 1906 Earthquake but most of the house and the gardens around it remain. The house is owned by a private company that does daytime tours as well as special candlelight tours. These tours play heavily on the legend and on the idea that the house is haunted.

My teen daughter and I went on the extended tour, which meant that we got to see some of the main parts of the house as well as one of the attic rooms and the basement. I’m going to sound pretty warm and fuzzy about most of the house, but let’s get this out of the way. The basement is creepy. I’m quite certain that many murders were committed in it despite a total lack of any evidence. Indeed, one of the only claims NOT made about the house is that it’s a murder site. However, I’m calling it – someone used this basement as a torture chamber and incinerated the bodies in the furnace. I’m standing by this and I will never ever go in that basement again because I WATCH MOVIES AND I KNOW HOW THIS ENDS.

Ahem.

Most people feel pretty creeped out, or at least very sad, about the rest of the house. It’s easy to see why. It’s pretty weird. There are indeed steps that lead right up to the ceiling and then stop, and a door that opens onto thin air (it is, inconveniently, located on the second floor). For the most part the house is unfurnished although someone thoughtfully left a Creepy Doll lying around and someone else donated an organ (the kind you play, not a body part) to the ballroom. Did I picture the creepy doll waltzing in the dead of night while ghostly organ music plays? Yes I did, and so would you.

However, I actually felt quite at home in the Winchester Mystery House. Like me, Sarah was short (she was 4’10” and I’m 4’9”). Since it was her house, she had all the fixtures (like bathroom sinks) built to her height, which everyone on my tour seemed to think was eccentric but I found to be delightful. She also, like me, had arthritis (she had rheumatoid arthritis which was very severe, and I have moderate osteoarthritis). She built special low-rise stairs with switchbacks so that she could get around (she also had elevators). Again – the stairs, which have a lot of switchbacks so that they can fit into a small space, are touted as a house oddity and I LOVED them. In my future, all stairs will be just like those and I’ll be able to get my exercise without my kneecaps flying off into space. Sarah and I are as one, clearly.

Sarah lived to be 83, so she must have done something right. While we all thrill to the legend of the spirits, I’m fond of the theory posed in Captive of the Labyrinth that says that Sarah built stuff because she liked building stuff. She had aptitude, money, and time, so why not? And since she wasn’t an architect, and she learned as she went, so there’s some weird stuff. Additionally, she built for her own comfort.

Usually people leave the Winchester Mystery House in a discomfited state, but I felt nothing but great fondness for Sarah, my short, arthritic sister. You can book tours at www.winchestermysteryhouse.com. Just don’t go in the basement.

Man, we’re just doing giveaways right and left!

For all you coloring book lovers and readers who sometimes need a bit of stimulation, please check out A Far, Far Better Thing to Do: A Lit Lover’s Activity Book by Joelle Herr, with illustrations of Lindsey Spinks.

And to make it even cooler, we have three (3) copies to give away!

A | BN

Nothing captures the imagination quite like classic literature — the warmth of Little Women, the mystery of Dracula, and the heart-racing suspense of Moby Dick have inspired generations of readers.

A Far, Far Better Thing to Do pairs these treasured books with a witty, light-hearted sensibility, giving lit lovers 65 engaging activities to tease their brains and unleash their creativity. From word searches and connect-the-dots to coloring pages and quizzes, these charming activities infuse our best-loved texts with a fresh, modern spin and just the right level of challenge.

A celebration of reading — and readers — A Far, Far Better Thing to Do is sure to delight bookworms of all ages!

As someone who is a word search and crossword addict, I’m ALL FOR THIS!

The illustrations inside are also romantic and delicate. Here are a few images done by Lindsey Spinks:

What do you think of the artwork? Cute, right? There’s something so dainty about it.

To enter for a chance to win one of three copies, tell us which book would give inspiration to a great activity! A maze for Captain Ahab to find his white whale? A coloring page for The Secret Garden with all manner of shrubs and flowers?

Standard disclaimers apply: We are not being compensated for this giveaway. Void where prohibited. Open to US and Canadian residents where permitted by applicable law. Must be over 18. No need to stay in the lines while coloring. Creativity is not a must, though always encouraged! Feel free to do the activities in pencil, though in the words of Bob Ross, “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” Comments will close Friday October 20, 2017 around noon EDT, and winners will be announced shortly thereafter.

Good luck, everyone!

Warning that the book does include violence and harsh language against women both on and off the page.

Did Amanda just read and enjoy a historical romance? Hell yes, she did. For readers who have been around the Bitchery for while, you might know that I’ve had a complicated relationship with historical romances. I just can’t get into them much anymore. It’s not historical romance’s fault! However, every so often, I’ll pick one up, and I will either give up fifty pages in or, in a rare case, I will devour it like a hangry honey badger.

Highland Promise falls into the latter and I was utterly surprised because it has some elements of which I’m normally leery. But they worked because they made sense within the narrative, instead of seeming more like a personality quirk thrown in for the hell of it. I swear this will all make sense and seem less mysterious once we get into the nitty gritty.

Highland Promise is the first book in The Sons of Gregor MacLeod series. It opens with the prologue, where a highland laird is demanding his clansmen pay for their treachery. Either they give up one of their sons to be raised by him or he kills them and takes their sons anyway. This also sets up plenty of sequel bait and, while the five men all make an appearance, none of the others overshadow the hero and his romance. The five men also have distinctive personality traits and it made me feel a lot like I was playing Highland Pokemon: I desperately want to catch them all.

Fast forward from the prologue: one of the sons, Darach MacKenzie, has a tentative truce with Clan Fraser. But when he sees an unconscious and obviously beaten woman thrown over the back of a Fraser horse, he jeopardizes the truce to attack the men and save the woman.

The woman is Caitlin MacInnes, a woman who has been given to the Frasers by her uncle as part of deal for gold. So it’s like a weird reverse dowry, I guess. Caitlin’s uncle gets riches if he gives her away to the leader of the Fraser Clan.

There’s no love lost between Darach and the Frasers. He was originally betrothed to Moire, Laird Fraser’s sister. Things did not end well and it’s revealed that Moire had plotted to kill Darach. Because of that, Darach is wary of being blinded by love again. He’s a serious man, but he avoids making the kind of decisions that would have made me closing the book. For example, he overhears Caitlin calling his name while she slept. Now, I’m sure we’ve all read romances where the hero takes the heroine’s sleepy murmurings as consent. Instead, Darach leaves her bedroom without so much as touching her. Most of the physical affection is also initiated by the heroine, which is very important because while Caitlin is twenty, she has lived an incredibly sheltered life. It’s a little sad that I get excited when a hero doesn’t take advantage of the heroine, but that’s where we’re at.

Caitlin’s family home burned down when she was around fourteen and she had lived with her uncle since then. He kept her under lock and key during her time in his home, until she was pretty much sold to Laird Fraser. I found Caitlin to be rather childlike, but it never bordered on annoying or infantilizing. She had no women with whom to talk and no additional education save for religious teachings from ages fourteen to nineteen. She was also abused while in her uncle’s care and adopts a willing-to-please, impulsive manner with Darach. She’s so desperate to be in his good graces and to try and demonstrate that she can be helpful because she fears Darach will send her away. To realize the deeper implications of her behavior and how they originated was an a-ha moment for me. Caitlin seems younger and more naive than her actual age, but it stems from years of a toxic, unhealthy upbringing where her worth was equated with money.

The only real issue I took with Caitlin’s traits was how pious she was. I’m not a religious person by nature and I would not classify this as an inspirational romance, but Caitlin is a firm believer in modeling one’s life after religious tenets. Her chastising about how Darach and his brothers would go to hell for blaspheming was a little much at times.

But despite the piety, Caitlin is what kept me reading because I was enthralled by how much I liked how. She was earnest and sweet, and I related to her people-pleasing tendencies. The fact that I understood her as a character and why she acted the way she did made all the difference in me finishing the book versus chucking it into the DNF pile. Caitlin also has a penchant for getting into trouble with her good intentions, which balanced out perfect she could have been.

Yes, she helps raise a litter of kittens back to health and many of the secondary characters adore her, but it’s clear she’s trying to find her place. Caitlin offers to help in the kitchen and the cook kicks her out for screwing things up. She wants to learn swordsmanship in an effort to show she’d be useful in defending the keep, but nearly lops off a limb in the process. Not everything she touched was magically fixed and she didn’t have an endless list of talents to be revealed. Honestly, I’m still surprised how McLayne won me over, since I tend to prefer my heroines angst-ridden and with a chip on their shoulder.

As I mentioned before, Darach has four other foster brothers who will be the heroes of subsequent books. All make an appearance toward the second half of this story, but McLayne does a great job in mentioning them without taking away too much time away from Darach and Caitlin. There’s also a really sweet moment when Darach is telling his family about Caitlin and they’re all happy sighing as Darach recounts his moments with Caitlin.

“Caitlin sounds like a wonderful lass.”

“She is…when she’s not digging up my baileys or drowning in the river”

“God’s blood,” Gregor exclaimed, eyes wide. “You will recount everything.”

They did, Lachlan telling most of it while Darach added to or protested Lachlan’s debatable remembrances. His brothers laughed themselves hoarse over Darach’s numerous trips to the loch, Lachlan losing all his coin, and Caitlin branding herself a besom, then claiming Darach was an innocent victim of her lewd advances. They listened with quiet dread as he related saving her from the river and the subsequent ill heath that befell them both. They erupted in anger upon the telling of her parents’ murder and Caitlin’s treatment by Fraser and her uncle. Then they sighed like women when Darach finally made her his bride.

Now tell me that isn’t a cute picture – five burly Highlanders along with their foster father sitting around a fire, rapt in attention regarding Darach’s relationship.

There are a few shortcomings to Highland Promise. The book seems to be split with the courtship and romance happening in the first half and the action regarding the book’s villains occurring in the second half. And, as mentioned earlier, Caitlin’s frequent religious quoting grew tiresome. The book also has the “scorned ex turned villain” trope that only lasts a matter of pages, so it seems like an empty element. I’m not a huge fan of that trope to begin with and it came and went so quickly, the book probably didn’t need to include it at all.

However, if you love a Disney princess, in all their saccharine, animal-loving, pure-of-heart glory, you’ll love Caitlin. If you have a weakness for kilted heroes, there’s plenty of plaid to go around. It’s a pretty pleasing start to a new series and worth a shot, especially since the cover model has some Sam Heughan vibes, don’t you think?

Squee from the Keeper Shelf is a feature wherein we share why we love the books we love, specifically the stories which are permanent residents of our Keeper shelves. Despite flaws, despite changes in age and perspective, despite the passage of time, we love particular books beyond reason, and the only thing better than re-reading them is telling other people about them. At length.

If you’d like to submit your reasons for loving and keeping a particular book for Squee from the Keeper Shelf, please email Sarah!

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I’ve been a big fan of Harper Bliss’s lesbian romances for a long time, and age gap (or May/December) stories are like my catnip, so you can imagine my delight when I heard she was putting one out last year. I consumed In the Distance There is Light in a day and it consumed me, crawling under my skin and staying there. When I recently listened to the new audiobook edition and loved it even more, I knew I had to share it with all of you amazing readers.

It opens as Sophie watches her boyfriend’s casket being lowered into the ground. She’s surrounded by friends and family, and yet she doesn’t identify with anyone except Ian’s stepmother Dolores, who’d lost Ian’s mother a decade prior to cancer. Sophie is a walking wound, her soulmate taken way too soon in an accident, and she doesn’t even get the distinction of the title “widow” because they’d never married.

This is real. I’ll never see Ian again. Dolores will never see her son again. During my thirty years on this planet, I’ve only been to the funerals of people I vaguely cared about. Distant aunts and relatives I never got to know. I’d always thought the first big one, the first one to tear me apart at least a little bit, would be my granddad’s. But I’m burying my boyfriend instead. Well, my partner, I guess. Boyfriend sounds so juvenile, so inadequate for what he was to me.

Sophie can’t stay in the apartment she and Ian shared because it’s too painful. After staying with a friend for a few days and sleeping only thanks to a nightly dose of Ambien, she finds herself calling Dolores and going over for a visit. Except that visit turns into an overnight, and when neither of them can sleep on their own, they find themselves passing out in front of the TV in Dolores’s bed. And then one night turns into a month and then more, with Sophie sleeping (Ambien-free) next to Dolores, each woman trying to pull their shattered lives back together. Everything changes yet again the night that Sophie kisses Dolores, the women finding comfort in a way they never would have expected.

So yes, it’s a lesbian romance about a woman who finds love with her stepmother-in-law. And as I was describing the book to my husband (who brought it on himself by asking what I’d been listening to lately), I found myself saying “I know! It sounds like a total porn premise, but I swear it’s not salacious!” And seriously, nothing about this book will make anyone say “Ooh, this whole ‘banging her dead boyfriend’s mom’ thing is so hot!” That first kiss is Sophie grasping for a lifeline, not the result of a meet-cute and flirty banter, and it’s followed by understandably complicated feelings. Sophie and Dolores’s sexual relationship, especially in its early months, is about survival and doing exactly what’s necessary to make it through the day so they can get up the next morning and do it all over again.

More than just a romance, In the Distance There is Light is a study in grief. What happens when your life is ripped apart and you can’t sleep in your own bed, let alone even think about going to work? Because the book is told in the first person from Sophie’s perspective, we’re given unfiltered access to her feelings and the rawness is almost overwhelming at times. She watches as Dolores handles her own grief by throwing herself back into things at work, while Sophie ekes out the smallest of existences in Dolores’s home, journalling her feelings in a series of letters to Ian.

[…] fuck, Ian, there have been numerous times, more than I’d like to admit, that I wished I were religious, so that I could find comfort in my faith, and believe that you are up there somewhere watching me, but sadly, I don’t believe in any of these things. You’re as gone as you’ll ever be. I’m left behind. And, yes—and you won’t like this—I have been feeling mightily sorry for myself. But you know what? I’m allowed. Because I have nothing left. Not even a wedding ring. Yes, you heard that right. I’ve also been wishing we had married. Then at least I’d be your widow, a scandalously young one, but at least something in relation to you. Now, I’m just a woman whose partner died in a road accident so stupid it wasn’t even worth an article in a newspaper.

I love how Sophie doesn’t shy away from her grief. She doesn’t try to compartmentalize it. She just fully experiences the sadness or anger or numbness as it comes. She may marvel at Dolores’s strength as she resumes normal life, but I suspect it’s Sophie’s acceptance of the worst of her feelings that lets her support Dolores in the moments when grief tackles her out of nowhere.

I was a little nervous about listening to the audio version of In the Distance There is Light because I love this book so much. It was one of the best books I read last year and what if the narrator didn’t do it justice? Narrators make or break audiobooks, and I was so afraid of not liking this one. My fears totally unnecessary because Charlotte North knocked it out of the fucking park. From the very first second, she was Sophie. And listening to Sophie tell her story made it even easier for me to connect with her again and understand her path from that enveloping fog of grief to a manageable day-to-day life.

If you can buy into (or get over) the premise of this book, I can’t recommend it enough. And if you enjoy audiobooks, I especially think you should pick it up in that format. This is Harper Bliss’s best book and it’s well worth the time and money

In the Distance There is Light comes from Tara Scott’s Keeper Shelf! If you want to read her previous guest reviews on SBTB (and we highly recommend that you do), you can see them all here.

Tara reads a lot of lesbian romances. You can catch her regularly reviewing at The Lesbian Review and Curve Magazine and hear her talk about lesbian fiction (including romance) on her podcast Les Do Books. You can also hit her up for recommendations on Twitter (@taramdscott).

The transcript for Podcast 268. Rec Reqs with Sarah and Amanda, Part the Second! has been posted!

This podcast transcript was handcrafted with meticulous skill by Garlic Knitter. Many thanks.

❤ Click here to subscribe to The Podcast →

Before I ever read a romance novel, I devoured Gothics by Phyllis Whitney and Victoria Holt. When I was probably around twelve I found them on a bookshelf in our basement, and I think over the course of one summer I read everything both authors had written.

Gothic romances were and are the perfect blend of the creepy and the sexy. Usually set on a crumbling estate, the innocent heroine shows up (sometimes as a governess or poor relation or new wife) to meet the dark and mysterious lord of the manor/castle/whatever. These books were always told only from the heroine’s POV as she tried to piece together spooky happenings (ghosts, curses, diaries left behind by mysteriously dead former wives) while simultaneously fearing the hero and also wanting to bone him.

Sadly, there was no boning in Victoria Holt’s novels, but Eve Silver’s  Dark Gothic series is here to rectify that. His Dark Kiss is the second book in the series, but totally works as a stand-alone read.

Emma Parrish arrives at Manorbrier Castle to act as governess to the son of her late cousin, Delia. Rumors abound that Lord Anthony Craven, Delia’s husband, was responsible for her death, but practical Emma dismisses this all as “stuff and nonsense.”

When she gets to Manorbrier, however, she realizes some seriously spooky shit is going on. First of all, the previous two governesses died under mysterious circumstances.

She overhears her student, adorable plot moppet Nicky, discussing her with the cook:

“I haven’t met her yet. But if she is like Miss Strubb or Miss Rust or…” The child shivered and hesitated briefly before saying the woman’s name in a hushed whisper. “…Mrs. Winter, then I think I should not like to meet her at all. And certainly if she is like Mrs. Winter, then she should go away and never come back. Papa could send her off in a pine box. Just like he sent Mrs. Winter.”

A pine box? Emma stood frozen, digesting the implications of all she had overheard. Clearly the child was frightened, and had quite possibly been ill-treated by his previous governesses. That he had suffered was a sad thing to be sure, but his trust could be gained with patience and love. So she worried not overmuch as to Nicky’s opinion of her, but the mention of a pine box for the unknown Mrs. Winter gave her pause. There was only one type of pine box he could mean.

A chill crept across Emma’s skin. It seemed that Mrs. Winter had left Manorbrier in a coffin, and by the child’s account, it was Lord Anthony who had put her there.

One of the things that’s tricky in a Gothic is making the hero a menacing and potentially murderous figure, while simultaneously making him desirable to the heroine and reader. Like a true Gothic hero, Anthony is darkly mysterious and handsome, and has a penchant for wandering around his castle with his shirt unbuttoned but tucked in. The Gothic hero sometimes intersected with (or was a precursor to) the vampire hero, so if you’re confused as to how he could be appealing, think about Spike or Angel or whoever Sarah McLachlan was singing about in “Building a Mystery” (ah, the nineties. Good times).

Emma doesn’t think Anthony is a murderer. He’s a devoted and loving father to Nicky, and he’s also very kind to those in his employ (when a maid gets pregnant out of wedlock, he keeps her on and also pays for the care of her sick mother). But there’s definitely something fucked up going on at Manorbrier. For one, all the other servants seem creepy and tight lipped about everything, like they’re all in on some huge conspiracy. Then there’s the mysterious Round Tower that Emma is explicitly forbidden from entering.

One day Emma is enjoying the fresh air when she sees the coachman, Griggs, carrying a bundle into the Round Tower:

From the bottom of the bundle dangled a human hand, the fingers curled like talons, the skin wrinkled and pale save for a terrible blackened lesion that marred the flesh, the center glistening wetly in the sun. Emma gasped and lurched away. ‘Twas not just any body, but a terrible, frightening thing riddled with disease.

Taking another involuntary step backward, she held up one hand, palm forward. Such a futile gesture aimed at warding off the horror that confronted her. She swallowed against the bile that crawled up her throat as frozen talons of true horror gouged her heart.

Griggs looked down.

“His Lordship likes ’em fresh,” he said. “Says it’s best for the harvest.” With a grunt, he hefted his morbid parcel, turned his back on her, and disappeared into the tower.

Now, any sane person would be like:

Not the Gothic heroine, though. The Gothic heroine is gonna wait until midnight, put on her flimsiest nightgown, grab a candle, and go figure this shit out.

One of the things this novel does really well is keep Anthony a darkly intriguing figure while also making him super bone-able. It’s a tough chord to strike, balancing fear and desire together, and going too far in any direction will ruin the mood so to speak.

Emma is illegitimate and acutely aware of what an affair with the lord of the castle could mean for someone in her position. That said, she and Anthony are drawn to each other with a delicious intensity.  And the sex scenes in this book are hella hot.

One of the things that was a little frustrating, but also frankly a convention of the genre, is that much of the conflict could have been solved by Emma and Anthony talking. “Hey, why is Griggs carrying bodies into the Round Tower?” would be a pretty reasonable question to ask. Emma doesn’t often explicitly voice her concerns and when she does Anthony answers her in a vague and roundabout way. It keeps the mystery going, but it’s irksome.

That mystery is resolved nicely though and the clues as to what the hell is really going are peppered throughout the book in a way that the reader can solve it if they want to.

Now I do want to add a trigger warning. There’s a scene where a woman is in labor and in distress, and there is a frank conversation with the physician about performing an abortion (and how it would be performed) in order to save her life. This could be upsetting for anyone who had experienced something similar.

His Dark Kiss is also fairly creepy. It didn’t give me nightmares, but the horror element is sufficiently explicit that it might freak out more sensitive readers. Since I read creepy shit all the time, it didn’t bother me much.

If you’ve never read a Gothic and want to try one, or are just looking for seasonally spooky read, His Dark Kiss would be a good place to start.

This HaBO request comes from Julia and she’s trying to find a medieval romance:

I read this medieval romance about 12 years ago, back when I was a tween and my local public library still had their romance novels in one spot: the very back of the Adult Fiction section. I do not remember character names or the author, sadly. Here’s what I remember:

– Book was probably set in the 1300s.

– Heroine finds out her older sister has died and their father pulls her out of a convent to marry the hero in her sister’s place. I think the sister’s name was Sibylla, or some form of the name, but it may have been the heroine’s name instead.

– There’s a big spiel about spouses sleeping naked together. Heroine is nervous about this but hero assures her he’s not going to do anything until she’s more comfortable. Though I’m convinced he taught her the proper way to spoon.

– I remember a large battle at the end, where the hero’s helmet flies off during a duel with someone, probably the villain. I also think the heroine was either pregnant at this point or is giving birth while this is going on.

– The author had a “Historical Notes” section at the end. I think she used part of it to explain politics, how the hero’s helmet fell off during his duel, and say that “yes, medieval spouses slept naked”.

– I know there was an inside cover, and I think dark fuchsia was…incredibly prominent. It may have been a giant bed with dark fuchsia sheets. The fuchsia may have been on the cover as well.

Fuchsia alert!

This HaBO is from Mai, who’s been searching for this book for months:

I am not quite sure if this is a full-length novel, a novella, or part of an anthology.

It’s a historical book — the male lead is probably an earl or a duke of some sort and he’s married with children, but routine has dampened his and his wife’s relationship quite a bit. The man starts to leave his wife little notes to rekindle their love and I think these notes are about his fantasies or maybe he asks her out; I’m not too sure exactly.

I also remember that the male lead thinks a friend of his wife might be after her and that’s why he is so desperate to have her fall back in love with him.

Does anyone know this one?

Wednesday links are here!

Essentially, the crop of links today are strictly romance and Carrie Fisher related, and I don’t think anyone will mind too terribly about that. I’ve been in South Florida for a week, dealing with family things, and I’ll be returning to the Northeast today to sleep in my own bed and cuddle my ornery senior cat.

…

Three cheers for Beverly Jenkins talking about romance and diversity over at Shondaland:

Shondaland: For a lot of people, the outside perception of romance has been that it’s this very white space, which can make it feel inaccessible for a lot of minorities. But I think that’s changing, and it’s in large part thanks to amazing writers like you. So, just to start, thank you for your work, and for normalizing people of color in romance.

Beverly Jenkins: You’re very welcome. Love is love. We all love. And the industry should reflect everyone. Like you said, things are getting better — [but] every industry can do more, or needs to do more. I think romance, along with Romance Writers of America, have made tremendous strides in the last four or five years in trying to bring that normalcy to the genre. And it’s been great.

I also recommend looking over the Shondaland site from time to time for more great interviews.

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A note from Sarah:  A quick reminder – pardon the interruption.

I am days away from opening registration for the inaugural Organization Academy online course, Menu Planning Mastery. 

If you feel overwhelmed by the question, “What’s for dinner tonight?” when you don’t know the answer, this course is for you. Each lesson will teach you how to harness the power of Google Calendar to manage and automate your meal planning, and save you time, energy, and money.

You’ll know what’s for dinner, you’ll have more time and money to buy books – what could be better?

If you’d like to be among the first to know when registration opens, please enter your email address below!  I’ll also send you weekly tips and step-by-step instructions with specific organization and time management strategies:

Please sign up if you’d like information about the course when registration opens.

Thank you in advance, and now back to your regularly scheduled link-a-palooza!

…

These next couple links regarding Carrie Fisher are from Elizabeth. Thank you, Elizabeth!

First up, The Mary Sue has an article about Fisher stressing the importance of Leia in pop culture:

“She was so conscious of the place that Leia had,” Johnson said, “not just broadly in the culture, but very specifically in terms of girls who grew up watching Star Wars, when Leia was the only female hero on the screen. She really wanted to do right by that, drawing the character forward. That was something that she would always be pulling us back to.”.

Here are some of Elizabeth’s additional comments: “Apparently when filming The Last Jedi, Carrie Fisher had a lot of input into the script. She wanted to make it the best it could be for all the girls who grew up watching Star Wars and for whom she was a hero.”

There’s also a #LeiaIsWithUs hashtag gaining momentum, which is calling for fans to honor Fisher during The Last Jedi‘s opening night by wearing or bringing an object that is Leia-related.

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The Bacon Free Library is having a romance swag bag auction! The auction will officially launch October 22, but you can preview the items available now.

Bid to win swag from any of these award winning, best-selling, beloved, classic romance authors. Swag can include anything from signed books to having your name in one of the authors’ next book – how exciting!

There are a ton of authors participating, so please check it out!

…

Lastly, I’m dismayed to just hear about the Werk It Festival, which highlights women in podcasting:

Werk It’s first iteration, in 2015, was comprised of a crowd of 100 women, who met in WNYC’s Greene Space. This year the festival drew 600 pass-holding attendees and presenters, who all wore assertive smiles while mingling over coffee in the dimly lit Spanish Gothic Theatre and lobby, where the men‘s room had temporarily been labeled unisex. (The hotel was a uniquely fitting setting, based in the renovated headquarters of United Artists, a company co-founded in 1919 by one of the most powerful women in Hollywood history, Mary Pickford). Later, guests attended panels with names such as Creativity Doesn’t Just Happen and Extreme Engagement, and watched live tapings of shows such as Death, Sex & Money with Anna Sale, and 2 Dope Queens with Jessica Williams and guest co-host Naomi Ekperigin.

I would love to attend next year, as I pretty much exclusively listen to podcasts now.

…

Don’t forget to share what super cool things you’ve seen, read, or listened to this week! And if you have anything you think we’d like to post on a future Wednesday Links, send it my way!

Trigger warnings for rape, gaslighting, infidelity, and discussions of Joss Whedon.

I  DNF’d this book so hard I’m a little surprised my Kindle isn’t embedded in the drywall.

First, a few points.

1. I am aware (and was aware when I started this book) that this is Not a Romance. I am not carrying into this review my romance-reader expectations on happy or optimistic endings.
2. I started this book while the coverage of Kai Cole’s essay on Joss Whedon’s infidelity and gaslighting was everywhere, which was a weird parallel that accentuated my revulsion.
3. This book does not come out until November 7, which is a good ways off. Usually I don’t post reviews so far in advance, but I’ll probably complain about this book more than once before pub date.

I picked up this book because the NetGalley description sounded really intriguing:

A delightful new urban fantasy about a kitchen witch and her magical family

Daphne “Daffy” Rose Wallace Deschants has an ideal suburban life—three wonderful and talented children; a coffee shop and bakery, owned and run with her best friend; a nearly perfect husband, Gabriel, or “G” to his friends and family. Life could hardly be better.

But G’s perfection hides dangerous secrets. When Daffy uncovers evidence of his infidelity, her perfect life seems to be in ruins. On their wedding anniversary, Daffy prepares to confront him, only to be stopped in her tracks when he foils a mugging attempt using wizard-level magic. 

Suddenly, Daphne is part of a world she never imagined–where her husband is not a traveling troubleshooter for a software company, but the sheriff of the International Guild of Wizards, and her brilliant children are also budding magicians. Even she herself is not just a great baker and barista—she’s actually a kitchen witch. And her discovery of her powers is only just beginnning [sic]. 

But even the midst of her chaotic new life, another problem is brewing. G’s ex-wife, a dangerous witch, has escaped from her magical prison. Revenge-bent and blind, she needs the eyes of her son to restore her sight—the son Daffy has raised as her own since he was a year old. Now Daphne must find a way to harness her new powers and protect her family—or risk losing everything she holds dear.

As I said, I didn’t go into this book expecting a romance at all, but what I got made me SO angry.

The book opens with Daffy at a 13th anniversary dinner with her husband, and she’s pissed. Someone has emailed her pictures of him having wild sex with another woman, just after the people of their small (and of course sort of weird) town saw him around when he said he was overseas. When she confronts him with the pictures and then leaves the restaurant, three dudes attempt to mug her, but he stops them with his wooden fountain pen which is actually his magic wand.

She thought he was a low-level “parlor trick” magician, similar to some of the semi-magical people around their town. Turns out he has serious magical abilities, but he only tells her that much because she saw them. He won’t answer her questions about his having sex with someone else, and keeps insisting that she not kick him out because he has to keep her and their three children safe.

I was thinking maybe at some point she’d realize her kitchen witch powers and set him on fire, but that didn’t happen. Instead, the story follows Daffy ( she’s a magical baker in a magical coffee shop in a magical small town) and her children, who are beginning to manifest their powers.

I liked that not everything is explained up front. There’s no infodumpy reverie from the protagonists – not even when G should have been explaining things because clearly Daffy is devastated and betrayed by his infidelity –  and there isn’t much random “As you know,” from ancillary characters. The world is built in small doses, and while some of it is cliched (magical small town coffeeshop bakery because of course magical small town coffeeshop bakery), it made me curious enough to keep going.

I was confused by the fact that there are dual points of view, with Daffy’s narration in first person, and G’s perspective in third person, but I figured that was a choice that would make sense later.

Unfortunately, I have no interest in getting to later. I stopped and I will not be moved.

Let me back up and explain some of the setup here. G doesn’t acknowledge how those pictures happened, except to say (of course) that it’s not what she thinks. He says that cameras can’t capture illusions, and that someone had to have hacked his email account because he didn’t send the pictures.

So he did have sex with someone but he didn’t mean to send his wife evidence?

Huh.

This is 2% in to the story so I was willing to keep going.

Then G explains that the world is really dangerous and she and their children need him around to protect them.

But he won’t say from what, and he won’t talk about whether he did cheat on her, despite visible evidence.

Then he says they’ve had “thirteen wonderful years together” and that he needs her “now more than ever.”

Daffy calls him on his bullshit:

“You need me to babysit your children. Thirteen years when I’ve raised your son as my own. I adopted him on our wedding day, so he’d never need to ask about the mother who died giving birth to him. I’ve given you two wonderful daughters, kept house, cooked, and picked up after you.”

And here is G’s sensitive, thoughtful reply:

“And I love you for that. I do truly love you despite the temptations I face every day. I built you a wrought iron-and-glass greenhouse that fills a quarter of the backyard where the stables used to be. That should prove something of my devotion to you.”

You. Have Got. To be. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

He built a greenhouse where the stables used to be so obviously she’s not focusing on the right details.

And while I’m looking at this paragraph, “The temptations I face every day?”

Are you SERIOUS?!

His argument reminded me with a sick feeling of the coverage of Kai Cole’s account of her marriage wherein Whedon was cheating on her for 15+ years. That whole “temptation” whine sounded nauseatingly familiar. It was kind of eerie that this was the book I picked up immediately after I read her essay.

I mean, gosh, it’s so difficult to not stick your dick in other people.

Such a burden to be basically decent when you’re a successful, powerful dude.

I just strained every one of my ocular muscles.

Anyway, Daffy kicks his ass out of their home, and the story continues as their divorce gets closer to being finalized. The kids, it turns out, know about the cheating because one of them is drawn to locks, puzzles, and things she shouldn’t be looking at. She clicked her way into her mother’s hard drive and saw the images, which she promptly shared with her siblings.

(Yeesh.)

(And as an aside: Daffy blames herself for not doing a better job of protecting her files, since she knew her daughter was drawn to all puzzles, locks, and passwords. Do people with magical abilities have a free pass to be completely crappy humans in this world?? I cannot with that part.)

Daffy is determined that she be able to at least cordially co-parent with G, and tries to work out ways for him to be part of their lives. This becomes more complicated when each child begins manifesting signs of their own magical ability, some far earlier than normal, and all with considerable amounts of power.

Plus, G’s narration reveals that Daffy was raised in a fundamentalist household, and that her grandmother had been a magical practitioner. To get his daughter away from the “evil influence,” Daffy’s father had his mother committed and subjected to electric shock treatments. Daffy never saw her again. As a result of her own parents’ indoctrination and the absence of her grandmother, Daffy’s own magic is severely suppressed. But no doubt her own talents combined with G’s mean that their children are like a Semi-Nuclear Pre-Teen Magical Titan Fantastic Squad.

The Kids are All Magical was a really tempting element to this story for me. Each one is compelled to find their personal wand, which can take the shape of a mundane item, usually an antique that “calls” to them. One has two sticks that she wears in her hair with ornaments on them which transform her from awkward teen to beautiful siren, and another, the lock-breaking boundary-obliterating one, is later drawn to an item that’s connected with her talents.

G’s son, Daffy’s adopted son, is a talented ballet dancer, and they figure out pretty early in the story what his “wand” is, and how it accentuates and focuses his power. And his dedication to dance and to practice and training make it pretty clear he’ll be very powerful the more time he spends dancing. He was one of my favorite characters in the parts that I read. I’d read a whole book about him.

For the next few chapters, Daffy and G are separated, and she slowly learns more about who he really is (very little of that information is provided by G himself) while trying to set up new boundaries for his involvement in her life, and trying to understand what her powers are or might be.

Then there are two major revelations, one of which I will hide behind spoiler tags:

I read that part, and said, “WHOA.” Out loud. But quietly because people were sleeping.

And I was waiting for G to sit Daffy down and explain the whole thing, about the danger to the children, about the circumstances for the pictures, all of it.

But he doesn’t.

He doesn’t seem upset about what happened to him except that his ex-wife is dangerous (and also not dead but everyone thinks that she is). He doesn’t explain what’s happening, he doesn’t reveal how he’s lied and concealed information about Daffy, about their kids, about anything. He knows best – for himself.

And I grew increasingly angry at him for it. He’s wrapped up in some willful deceit and manipluation to not tell Daffy the truth about her own life, about the children she’s raising, about her own marriage, and their collective vulnerability.

He’s supposed to be able to protect them? From what, his own dickbaggery?

Then I completely lost my shit.

G. brings pizza and wine to the bakery, where Daffy is setting up the dough on a Sunday night for the Monday morning baking. He mentions that he’ll be heading out of the country on some big case, and she reacts with some asperity (completely justified, to my thinking):

“Have fun,” I said with more than a bit of contempt.

G didn’t need to read my mind to know where my thoughts led me. He reached over and rested his big hand atop mine. I looked small and frail in comparison to his strength.

“It’s not always like that, Daffy.”

“Like what?” I fixed him with a determined glare.

“Look, I have, upon occasion, found release with another woman when I was far away from you and the amount of magic I had to case in order to close a case was too much to contain. Not often. Not habitually. There is always a woman of age I can pick up in a bar who is very willing to share a one-night stand. And I always use a condom.”

He paused long enough to chew a bit of pizza and swallow it. “Normally I hop the first flight home and return to you, my love.”

Aaaand that would be where I stopped reading.

Because are you KIDDING ME? 

Seriously.

At the foundation level of this story, I believe I am supposed to witness G redeeming himself or something. Maybe Daffy needs to show him how not to be a terrible person (which he should have figured out on his own) or maybe he is going to wake his own sorry ass up and realize what a shit he’s been, but I am not here for any of it.

G is the gatekeeper of information Daffy needs and should have, and lies to her every time they talk. And based on the direction of the plot so far, eventually they will probably go fight evil together or something.

I don’t know, and I don’t care.

I can’t invest myself in wanting any part of his involvement in her life, or in this book. I won’t be convinced, ever, that he is a person Daffy should have in her life. I won’t be convinced to read about him, either.

His inability to acknowledge his actions, and the way in which the world of the book seems to condone the fact that he lies to Daffy, misleads her, and banged people behind her back without telling her made me feel ill, similar to how I felt when I read Kai Cole’s essay. “I did something wrong over and over but it wasn’t my fault because magic/patriarchy/both” is not heroic, not in real life, and not in a book.

(And how exactly does using a condom makes it ok, you magical dipshit? Come on.)

The longer he deceives Daffy and hides the truth from her about her life, her marriage, his past, her children, her latent powers, and her future, the more he strips her of any agency in a story that is ostensibly about her. Life is way too short to spend my reading time with a character like that, and, as Amanda pointed out to me as we discussed this book, it’s very easy for me to put down the book and walk away – far easier than it may be for a person in a marriage as damaging as this one.

Daffy can’t get away from G, and he’s orchestrated everything so that she won’t be able to extricate herself from any involvement with him. He hasn’t told her anything resembling the truth, and the ethical systems and morality of the magical world seem to condone his decisions and the harm he does to Daffy and their family.

To hell with him, and people like him. I’m out.

ETA: Out of morbid curiosity, I flipped to the last chapter to read how it ends. So while I did not finish the book, I did read the end.

Our community at the Bitchery is full of warm & fuzzy moments and as the person who puts together the Books on Sale posts, sometimes we get some kickass, budget-endangering comment threads. For example, KateB alerted us to a mega Mary Stewart sale!

You can view Mary Stewart’s ebook editions, sorted from low to high prices, all of which are $3.99 or lower, at this Amazon link.

Here are some Stewart recs from that particular comment thread.

No, the Other Anne:

Airs Above the Ground and The Ivy Tree are particular favorites. I also love Touch Not the Cat. Really you can’t go wrong with anything Mary Stewart, though!

Vicki:

I think my favorite might be The Ivy Tree. Currently re-reading MoonSpinners, the book is better than the movie. Gosh, I read all of these between eight and 13 years old, did not get all the sub-text and still loved them. Love them all now, too.

PamG:

Personally, I favor This Rough Magic and back in the day, when I first read Mary Stewart, I loved Wildfire at Midnight. Her later romantic suspense–post Touch Not the Cat–seemed a little bland to me, but the rest of it was golden.

Do read the rest of the comments for more recommendations, and please let us know which books the Bitchery should be during this awesome Mary Stewart sale!